Losing a Loved One
Losing somebody that you love can feel like the worst thing in the world. It can make your heart hurt to think that you will never see your loved one again.
You may experience a load of emotions that you have never felt before. These feelings can feel big and overwhelming. You may not know why you are feeling this way and you may not know how to deal with what you are feeling.
You may want to cry, shout, scream, stay very still and quiet or even laugh, it is important to know that all of your feelings are normal. It is important that you allow yourself to feel your feelings exactly when you feel them.
Please do not bottle your feelings up or try to ignore them as this can make you unwell. Try to speak to the people that you love about your questions, thoughts and feelings. Talking about your feelings can help you to heal and begin to feel better.
What Am I Feeling?
The 5 stages of Grief
When somebody you love passes away you may feel extremely sad and upset, this is known as grief. It is believed that this sorrow has 5 different stages known as the grief cycle. There can be many thoughts, feelings and emotions within the grief cycle.
You may be feeling some of these emotions. Some of these feelings are stronger than others and the stages last different amounts of time. You may find that you go back and forth between stages or experience them in different orders. All of your feelings are normal.
This is like being surprised in a horrible way. You may feel confused, you may feel like you feel nothing at all. You may blame yourself (it’s not your fault) or you may not believe what is happening.
You may feel angry with the people around you, you may feel angry with yourself, you may feel angry with your loved one for leaving you and you may even feel angry with God. You may want to shout or scream.
You may feel tearful, or very tired, you may not want to get out of bed or go outside. You may feel like your sad feelings are stronger than you are.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU REALISE!
Deal-making and ‘WHAT IF’S?’-
This can be like trying to make a deal with God to bring your loved one back.
“God please bring my dad back and I promise I will keep my room tidy from now on…”
You may question if there was more that you could have done.
“What if I was at home earlier that day, maybe I could have saved her?”
This is the point when you realise that you will be okay. You will still miss your loved one but you adjust to them not being there the way they used to.
You are not alone. You will be okay. xxx
Below are some tasks that may hopefully help you to heal. xx